


First Touch

by hunterinabrowncoat



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, standford era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2018-01-25
Packaged: 2019-03-09 11:50:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13480884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hunterinabrowncoat/pseuds/hunterinabrowncoat
Summary: Brady meant an awful lot to Sam; more than Dean will ever know...





	First Touch

**Author's Note:**

> Content warnings: angst, implied sex.

Sam never came out at home. It wasn’t that he was trying to hide anything, he just wasn’t talking about it. He never felt comfortable around them - the snide remarks John would occasionally make about ‘fags’ and 'pansies’, the way Dean would drone on and on about women as if they were objects, and the comments they’d both make, sneering at Sam for his lack of interest in women… he just didn’t feel that they’d understand. And given how much of a disappointment he already was to this family, Sam didn’t particularly feel like giving them yet more reason to ridicule him.

But college was a fresh start. He felt no need to hide any crushes like he had in High School. The sex-crazed environment everybody else seemed so comfortable in alienated him somewhat, but on the whole, Stanford opened up all kinds of doors to him that he never would have ventured through at home.

Brady was one of them - the cute blonde boy living just across the hall, who didn’t seem to be all that interested in partying either. When Sam carried his single box of belongings up to his room and tried his key in the door for the first time, they met in the hallway and exchanged a handshake. That was the first time they touched.

The second time was at a bar, when the music was playing so loudly Sam could barely hear him speak, even though they were only standing two feet away from each other. Sam watched his lips carefully, trying to decipher his words, and found he didn’t really want to look away. Then Brady leaned in close to speak into Sam’s ear, and his hand grazed against Sam’s warm skin unnecessary.

It kind of became their thing as the weeks wore on and they were soon both buried under work as they reached the middle of the first Semester - all this unnecessary touching. A graze here, a shoulder squeeze there, a hug that lasted just a little too long. The spark was there, even though Sam was far too shy to make a move. It was in the way Brady would pat him on the cheek sarcastically, but his hand would linger, pressed against Sam’s face a moment more than it should have. It was in the way his hand would rest on Brady’s shoulder when he wanted attention, instead of settling for a simple tap or announcing his presence with a 'hello’.

The first time their lips met they were alone and tipsy, and when they finally pulled apart, Sam giggled and said, “Oops!”, pretending to be considerably more drunk than he was.

But Brady smiled and reached out to take Sam’s hand, entwining their fingers affectionately.

“Oops.” he replied, shrugging as he smiled and pulled Sam into another kiss.

His lips were warm and soft and for the first time in years, Sam felt butterflies in his stomach. And then Brady got excited and Sam was pushed back against the wall, breath quickening as their kisses became more eager. He trailed wet and warm kisses all the way down Sam’s neck and began unbuttoning his shirt.

It was by far the most exciting make-out session Sam had ever had. They eventually got separated as the party wore on, but when they saw each other a few days later, Sam could feel the tingle in his lips as he remembered what it felt like to have them pressed against Brady’s. And he had to suppress a knowing smile when his classmates asked him what hot chick left him with that hickey…

Sam didn’t lose his virginity to Brady, but it was the first time that Sam actually felt as though it meant anything. It was more than just a one night stand, more than just a crush. This was butterflies, electricity, excitement, a kind of longing he’d never felt before...

“I think I’m in love…” he announced with a smile as he fell back against the sheets, exhausted but exhilarated.

Brady, who lay beside him, curled up into Sam’s naked form and rested his head on Sam’s chest. “I think I might be too.”

And suddenly leaving home didn’t seem all that bad.

The next year was stress and piles of work and too long spent in the library. But it was also smiles and stolen kisses and hours spent just laying in bed together. Sam spent the entire summer with Brady and his family. It wasn’t as though he could just go home like everybody else, and Brady wasn’t about to let him spend the summer alone, so instead Sam spent the summer wrapped up in Brady arms, being treated like a valued part of a welcoming family.

They were very accepting - Brady’s family. He had a gay uncle apparently, and his parents just spent the first few weeks battering Sam with questions, talking about how much Brady had come out of his shell since going to Stanford and meeting him!

Of course things all changed some months later when Brady came back from Thanksgiving break and things just weren’t the same. Fights broke out more often than not, and he just felt… distant. Something had obviously happened, but Sam could never figure out just what had changed, and when Brady continued to insist that everything was fine they began to drift apart.

It was Sam who eventually ended it, with a broken heart and a desperate want to see his best friend get his life back in order. A few months later he introduced him to Jess, and from there things seemed to start looking up.

Sam never came out to Dean, even after Jess was killed and they began hunting together again. It wasn’t as though he was trying to hide anything. But there didn’t seem any point in discussing past crushes, or talking about that one time he kissed a boy behind the bike shed in one of the many towns they left to the dust in their teen years. Talking about how much he did or didn’t like sex didn’t seem like something he’d particularly want to talk about with his brother either.

But Brady was something special, something secret - too precious to share, and too painful to talk about. Even after they met again, and Sam killed the demon that had taken everything from him, he never mentioned anything to Dean. He prodded and poked of course, but Sam just shook his head and shrugged it off. Who knows what Crowley meant when he said “demon lover boy”. It’s  _Crowley_.

But Sam did. He was queer, broken, and afraid of relationships. And still, at least some part of him anyway, desperately in love with that blonde-haired boy who’d lived across the hall…


End file.
